Bikes are built the way they are for a good reason: that’s the best design for them. That’s how they work best. But every once in a while, someone comes along and tries to change that time-tested design with some kind of wacky reinvention. The pedal-less Fliz Bike sort of turns the concept of a bike upside down in a way, doing away with the seat and pedals in favor of a harness and your own feet.

The Fliz sort of combines riding a bike with walking/jogging, more or less giving you wheels in addition to your legs. In order to use the wheels, you’ve got to get a running start and then sort of coast until you need to build up speed again. This would work reasonably well on level city streets, but forget about going up even the gentlest of hills.

The bike would definitely allow for a greater amount of physical effort, making it great for someone who needs the extra exercise, but as a serious commuting bike it seems pretty ludicrous. First off, getting into a crash on it would be deadly since you’re attached via a five-point harness. But more importantly, judging from the video, it looks like any bit of relief your bum may get from the absence of a seat is mitigated by the unrelenting and crazily painful pressure on your crotch.

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Ordinarily we’re big fans of insane ideas that may very well result in someone being hilariously maimed. But this Octocopter, built by a visionary/crazy Chinese tinkerer, pushes our fan-dom to its absolute limits. This beast, were it to ever actually get off of the ground, might be the most dangerous DIY project the world has ever seen.

We don’t understand exactly what the guy is saying in the video, but luckily he is also speaking the international language of geek. Using eight motorcycle engines and attaching a dedicated wooden propeller to each, he built a strange, really loud flying machine that doesn’t quite fly. But apparently he is still working out the kinks, so keep watching the skies. Seriously, watch out for this thing: eight uncovered propellers = flying red ring of death.

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Modern gadgets are remarkably small considering everything that they can do (hello, phone that plays Sudoku, streams radio stations and lets us take crystal-clear videos of our bizarre neighbors), but our generation was far from the first to think of miniaturizing stuff. Back in the age of records, the Sound Burger was amazing music lovers with its shockingly tiny size and portability. It was basically a clamp that could fit onto either 45 or 33 1/3 RPM records so you could keep your tunes rolling even when you were on the go. Of course, because it had to be played on a flat surface you had to be basically sitting or standing still while it played…but at least you could switch rooms between records.

The Sound Burger was sold in the early 1980s in Japan, but after it made the jump to the U.S. it was renamed Mister Disc – probably because Audio Technica, the company responsible for the awesome gadget, knew how we brutish Americans would mercilessly make fun of something called a “Sound Burger.” Unfortunately, even the love of rich vinyl sound couldn’t save this player from a sad fate. It was released right around the time that Sony’s Walkman was becoming popular, and given the choice between a cassette player that you could walk around with and a record player that you couldn’t…well, we all know how the story ended for the ill-fated Sound Burger/Mister Disc. Luckily for modern vinyl lovers, they still pop up every now and then on eBay – but they always seems to pull a hefty price.

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Kooky inventions and useless gadgets are not a modern phenomenon. Long before there were blankets with arms, Slap Chops and electric flyswatters, there were four-person sewing machine bikes, umbrella cigarette holders and scooter-mounted cannons. These weird contraptions cover more than 25 years – from 1931 to 1957 – and display the kind of ingenuity that keep inventors inspired.

This umbrella-equipped cigarette holder from 1931 was reportedly inspired by a British clown. Rather than using the tried-and-true hand-cupping method, smokers in the 30s could look just like a clown by using this truly weird contraption to keep the rain off of their lit cigarettes.

It’s little wonder that this invention never caught on, though if it had we might not be facing the obesity epidemic sweeping the developed world today. This seat, installed at a soda fountain counter, was meant to help customers watch their figures by giving weight readouts for waiting patrons. Perhaps someone realized that this was terrible for business and that’s why the invention has not seen the light of day since its 1938 conception.

This totally weird bike from 1939, aptly dubbed the Goofybike by its inventor, involved the whole family in some sort of weird bonding activity that involved Dad and Brother pedaling while Mom worked on her sewing machine and Sister simply sat there enjoying the ride. Poor Mom never got a break, even when it was time for family recreation.

In 1940, smokers who were sick of loaning out cigarettes could keep track of how many smokes they were using themselves and how many were being “bummed” by friends. Two separate buttons opened the case: one for when the owner was grabbing a smoke, and another for when a friend asked for one. It was presumably up to the owner to decide what to do with that information once he determined how many of his cigarettes were being given away.

This 1941 beauty treatment was purported to improve a lady’s complexion through the use of a vacuum – which seems dangerous, given that it completely encases her head in plastic. The picture above looks quite sinister, with the woman in the mask furrowing her brow and grasping the air hose worriedly and the other woman smiling menacingly while holding the plastic bag on the poor lady’s head. But the accompanying copy assures readers that this is a “glamorous” beauty treatment, not torture.

Women have done some extremely odd things over the years in the name of increasing their bust size. This balloon device is one of the less dangerous, but the idea behind it is certainly odder than most. The product was supposed to “develop the form” while measuring and increasing lung capacity with a shut-off valve (that little tape measure looped around the balloon). Just breathe deeply, and before you know it your breasts will magically increase in size.

It seems like some scooter riders already have attitude problems, based on their tendency to zip dangerously through traffic, so the last thing you would want to do is give them weapons on their Vespas. This scooter cannon from 1957 featured a gun on top with six ammo shells carried on the sides, making it even more dangerous than the usual scooter.

The post Weird Wonders of the Past: 7 Crazy Concepts From History first appeared on Gajitz.

The 21st century has already brought us a whole slew of truly amazing new technology (hybrid cars, invisibility cloaks and the Nintento Wii all come to mind), but like any other era there have been some massive flops. These three hilariously awful inventions of the 21st century were just never meant to become household names.

In what is possibly the most honest gadget review ever written, CNET brutally panned the Squircle (so named for its rounded square shape) – and with good reason. This ridiculous contraption was advertised as an MP3 player but could more accurately be described as a card reader…sort of. It took roughly four to five times as long to transfer data as other card readers, and the horrible sound quality made it almost completely useless as an MP3 player. According to CNET, one of the positive aspects of the Squircle was that it “skims across a lake nicely.” Among the negatives: “that it exists.” Ouch.

If there is one thing missing from just about every Taser gun experience, it’s some catchy music to drown out the cries of “Don’t Tase me, bro!” Well, that’s apparently what Taser thought in 2008 when they revealed this terrible, terrible idea: a stun gun holster MP3 player. What’s even more baffling is that the new line Tasers that go with the holsters come in designer colors – even a leopard-print one. Apparently the company wants their products to become as ubiquitous as cell phones and iPods. Hey, Taser: how about you stick to what you know so Apple won’t feel pressured to start adding stun guns to their products.

Believe it or not, this monstrosity won the Editor’s Choice Award from Popular Mechanics in 2002. Yep, even when mobile computing was on the very near horizon, doomed tech start-up Xybernaut thought it would be an awesome idea to build a bulky, ugly, sort of dangerous (if you’re walking around with it) computer that you strap on to your head and arm. And a publication known for spotting great technology agreed. With wires poking out everywhere and a truly unsightly design, the Poma wearable computer looks a lot more like a failed Snow Crash Halloween costume than an actual consumer product.

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