Giggle at the euphemisms if you will, but massager gadgets have been providing relaxation and relief almost since the dawn of gadget-time. Their wide variety of appearances, functions and forms have led to a wealth of hilarious and fascinating antique massagers that seem more like torture devices than relaxation gadgets.

Apparently it was once believed that massaging the eyes was necessary for strong vision and a healthy ocular nerve. That’s why this bizarre contraption exists: the instructions direct users to massage their closed eyes for a few minutes every day. The suction of the eye-cups along with the vibrations of the gizmo combined to create the “conditions absolutely necessary for good eye-sight.”

This gadget, known as Dr. Macaura’s Pulsocon, is a simple hand-cranked massager that requires nothing more than a turn of the handle to relax tense muscles. The small vibrating plate goes over whatever part of the body needs a bit of massaging, while one hand turns the handle to provide relaxing vibrations.

Head massages feel awesome, and there’s no denying that. But would you ever strap an electric vibrating massager to your scalp? The “Multiple Electric Vibrator” uses 480 little nubs to rub your scalp, stimulating blood flow and supposedly ridding you of dandruff and loose hair. Shake it up!